Veritas and Football

Well, the football (pro & college) season is upon us. And in prison, at least in my experience, that’s a big thing. I have run a paper and pencil fantasy football league for two years now. I really enjoy it—and so do the other players. There are five buildings on this yard and each one seems to have a league. Each league has between 8-12 teams. My league has 8 teams. Last year we had two leagues in this building. This year I had a hard time just getting 8. That’s due to a lot of transfers to Soledad State Prison. I am told the North yards of that prison is being turned over to SNY. And the yard I’m on here is being turned into a mental health yard. Good luck with that. The mental health care here, at PVAP, is so lacking as to be non-existent. I mean there is a “Mental Health” office on the yard. It is not staffed. Has a few odd bits of furniture in it. The whole thing is like a store front film prop—looks good from the outside, but nothing behind the door. All that is for another time. Besides we get more use of practical social skills by playing fantasy football. A person has to be responsible and put in a team roster every week. A person (owner of a team) has to interact with other men to do player trades and drops/pick-ups. Also, it gives the guys who are playing something to talk about other than prison stuff or trying to think of things to stop the boredom. Right now we spend more than half our normal program time locked down. Most of the time it’s due to staff shortages—so we are told. As a result, all of us in cells spend lots of time reading, as I do; watching TV, as a lot of guys do. Some work out in the tiny cells. I figured out a way to do crunches off the edge of my bed. They kill my abs! The key to cell/prison living is to stay active. I have a very bad back from a car accident. So if the pain pills I take don’t knock some of the pain out—I just want to lie in bed. That’s what I used to do. Now I force myself to do crunches and squats and of course push-ups. I have found that the prison Medical doesn’t give a shit if I or any other man in here is in pain or dies. So it’s up to each individual con to push medical for what they need. And those poor uneducated cons just suffer because either they don’t know how or aren’t able to file a medical appeal to get proper care. I try to help those guys, there are just so many. It gets so damn depressing. I just have to get my mind off it. So like I said, I read, work out and now a new season of fantasy football. Just anything to keep my mind off the suffering and bullshit that goes on in here. Because I know some men that just won’t leave their cells—except to eat and shower. They each have their own reasons or reason. I know one fellow who says he just can’t stand to be around all the assholes outside his cell. Yep, there are a lot of jerks and assholes in prison, but this is where we are so I say learn to cope with it, because there are assholes outside the prison walls, too—how are you going to deal with them??? Well, at least I talked him into playing fantasy football. Maybe I’ll be a social worker if I get out. I don’t know, I just don’t like to see others suffer. Maybe it’s my way of atoning for the fucked up shit I did to other people. Because I did some bad things and they never leave me. I feel like Marley’s ghost in Dickens “A Christmas Carol”. The business partner who had to wear a bunch of chains and weights around him for eternity. I already wear the mental burdens of my misdeeds. I’ve tried to atone and help others but there’s only so much a person can do in a small cell. That’s one big reason I write this blog. Yes, most of what I write about is how screwed up the prison system is. But, it seems to me that just because a man or woman is in prison it does not mean that the guards can just do what they want. That’s why I also write because there is so much wrong in here it starts to be viewed as right. And it must be told. To the reader, please give me some feedback. I want to know what you think. All for now, With Respect, Veritas