Still Here!

I'm still here, I suppose any readers I had have moved on. Sorry, I've been busy with some college stuff, and of course Fantasy Football. As for things going on in here - its worse. D yard is locked down most every day now. But the other yards, C yard, are having program. We are always told some bullshit story i.e. short of staff or a truck on the yard or we have to mow the grass. It's all just lies so the staff at $60k - $100k, can just sit and do nothing. In one of my first blogs I wrote about how this correctional officer was just sitting at a desk reading a magazine. It's just crazy. If I worked for a business and sat around with my feet up reading a magazine - I wouldn't be there long. But here it is acceptable behavior. Why? I think it is because of the out of sight out of mind mentality. At the prison that I'm at no CO would dare to tell another CO not to do something. They have some fucked - up code of silence called the Green wall here. It's green because that's the color of their uniforms. Anyway once one CO (correctional officer) makes a decision. Then all the other CO's just back him or her up and go along with it. No matter how crazy. As a result the rules here change week to week on a whim of a CO. This is exactly what hell must be like. I just want to scream. Well needless to say it gets kinda crazy here. I'm sure a poorly run business is like this. With the rules and procedures becoming the most important and the goal of the business forgotten. The goals of rehabilitation are mostly forgotten. I'm told that half the Vocation and education classes on this yard will be canceled on Jan 18th 2010. I've written before about how the only thing proven to stop recidivism is education. Now most of that will be gone. Thus ensuring more crime and more victims. There is a 19 yr old on this yard I know, I'll call him "K". He thinks he's a gangster and everything out there is for the taking. He has very little formal education and just goes along with what the "homies" say. He goes home in just under one month. "K" has not been sent to school, in here, or any type of anger management; drug counseling; communication skills; job skills; or pre release. The circle is about to be repeated because he will come right back to prison. The truth is no one gives a shit about any of us in here. The beds are filled for political expediency to calm the public. But nothing is done to help the men and women put in here. In my past blogs I've written about what tax payers are getting for all this imprisonment. With a recidivism rate of around 70% who can feel that the California dept. of corrections is helping in anyway except to defer crime. I feel all as is I'm just yelling in an empty wilderness. No One is listening. As long as a majority of people are not directly affected by the criminal justice system. The status quo will continue. I just see how even small cost effective changes can be made that might be able to keep one young man from re offending. BUT change takes mass. Mass from lots of people pushing to make change. Mass to say enough to warehousing humans like cattle and to start rehabilitating the inmates. However, there is no incentive on behalf of the prison bureaucracy - the more crime the more over time. With that I'm going to sign off for now. I hope everyone, everywhere and no matter what condition you or your loved ones are in - I wish all of you Peace, Love, and Joy. It's my wish that the family of the man I hurt can find peace and forgiveness. I'm so very sorry. I wish it was me. I'm just so humbly sorry I hope everyone out there can forgive just one other person for a past or current wrong. Because hate is a poison that seeps into our most inner being and destroys our capacity for love and friendship. Under the circumstances I find myself in; words like peace, love, and forgiveness are not very abundant. So it took a lot, a whole lot, or crying and soul searching to find those words and their meanings If I can do it - you can do it. So please forgive someone for the holidays. Make it last and maybe you will find a greater joy than you have ever known. Peace and Happy New Year! Veritas