Blog 9/1/10

Well, I've not blogged in a while. My Mom's medical condition has put me in a deep funk. I seem to be coming out of it, but the separation from her and my Dad is the hardest part of this. Yes, it's all part of the circle of likfe, but honestly no one, who loves their parents, wants them to pass. It will mark a point where now I'm also subject to death. Oh, I know at some level I was not going to live forever. But it was not thrust into my conscious thoughts. Now it is and I know someday I too will pass. Being in prison will make for a lonely death. I watched two other inmates just waste away in here to the point that they were takne away to a medical facility where they passed. Both alone, both wanting to be almost anywhere else. Being in prison is bullshit enough; now add outside problems. It becomes a place that Dante would not put in his hell as it is just too cruel. Most of the suffering is self induced. If I was a sociopath, if I lacked the ability to care about others, it would be a blessing: Yet I'm NOT! And my pain and frustration burns holes in my soul. I did get myself into this-coming to prison. And most of my pain I feel is the pain my parents feel not being able to see me; hold me and talk to me and see my face. I miss then both with all my heart, and I'm so sorry I'm not there. I wish them peace as I can't find any. All for now, will blog soon...Andrew